On the Brink of a New Year

On the brink of a new year, I can’t help but pause to reflect upon this 365-day journey. Christmas of 2016 is when my cancerous adventure started. Since then, I’ve walked numerous paths-some metaphorical and some literal. Within one full year, I was diagnosed with cancer, endured western medicine, submerged myself in eastern medicine to reclaim my life, was donned as being in remission and have traveled to both Hawaii and Grass Valley looking for answers. I sought an end to my mental confusion. I sought a rebirth on the volcanic spiritual grounds of a culture that has changed over time… I sought peace.

I came to realize many truths last week-some of which I’d like to share with you for one of those truths led me to the realization that we are all walking challenging paths, clouded with hope and sorrow on any given day.

I was reading a JIMBO TIMES: the LA Storytellerblog, when I realized that each of us in his/her own right are wrestling with similar questions: Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life?

Some of us travel the world, experiencing grand adventures, looking for answers in the outside world- while others find it in the four walls of a church. Regardless, we are seeking the same answers-especially when death comes knocking on the door.

Jimmy Recinos, the author of Jimbo Times, puts it well at the end of his blog when he states, “I don’t always need light to observe my existence; even through darkness, I can sort through its contents to still find enough of what I need from myself…” He understands that one can thrive in both, that the answers reside within us…

Just as darkness follows day, and day follows night, we must come to look at our world with a new perspective. Life isn’t always aglow, and it surely will never remain dark. Both states are always in flux and thus all we can do, all we have control over is our own responses. Knowing that change follows change, we must just “be.” We must mentally talk ourselves off of the ledge and reassure ourselves that “being” is all we can do.

There is no rhyme or reason to the darkness or the light just as there is no rhyme or reason to the speed at which a hummingbird flaps its wings. It just does. And in that same way, we as individuals, regardless of where we walk or how bright or dark our paths can be, we must realize one truth- it is all fleeting!

I found this out while watching seven days of sunrises while in Kauai the week of Christmas. I needed to breath, to be, to see the ocean and just let the sound of the waves wash away the memories of the past year when realization hit me- in a week, the ocean itself would be but a memory, mixed in with all the endless memories of moments that have come and gone.

Thus, sitting there I pledged to “be.” To remain present in each moment and rejoice in it- to see life not as good or bad, but as the flapping wings of the hummingbird, a hap chance moment that will come to pass for everything in life does just this.

Thus as my first ever written piece was published in EdifyFiction two days before Christmas, I made myself some promises:

1. I will revel in the present. 
2. I will walk my path steadfastly knowing that it too will pass.
3.I will write and share for doing so unites us all and sharing of one’s heart only empowers and inspires others to walk their paths honorably.

So, have I healed? Was Kauai the closing chapters of a book I want to long forget? Yes and no- I don’t ever want to forget what I endured for doing so also erases the lessons I’ve learned. But I aim to remember the past sparingly, using past moments to help others walk their present paths, realizing that as dark as their lives are, the darkness is as fleeting as the light and in time, everything good or bad will come to pass.

Happy New Year- enjoy the moment and I’ll see you all in 2018.

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Till next time, go live, thrive, have fun, and do great things!

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