Showing posts from February, 2018

On failing out loud

As a fat person, I’m very familiar with failure. My body, to most, represents a failure. A failure of discipline. A failure of self control. A failure to appropriately manage my body and the burden it may become for society (NEOLIBERALISM, AM I RIGHT?!)As a super fat person, I’ve spent decades failing at making myself smaller. Bodies get to be my size after decades of succeeding, and then failing, at weight loss. I get the congratulations and appreciation when I succeed to lose. And the sheltered looks of pity and “you’ll get ‘em next time” pep talks when I fail through growth.My failures at weight loss are public. People in my daily life know when I’ve failed. I don’t have to tell them, it’s written on my body. Social media makes it more likely that people who entire my life long after those failures could discover them for themselves; here’s a memory for you from 10yrs and 100lbs ago, Cat. Hoozah!My failures as an academic, though, aren’t as public. No one knows if an article is rej…

The Shame of my Home Game

This post talks about how anxiety and depression can impact our lives in unexpected and often not talked about ways. If you’d rather not know about the very personal impact of these things on me, or feel it may be triggering for you, please come back to the blog another day or feel free to explore the archives. Thank you and take care of you! <3********************************Today what is on my mind is my mind, literally. Weekend before last, I came across an article, “17 Honest Photos of the ‘Embarrassing’ Sides of Depression We Don’t Talk About“, and it kind of shook me to my core. It was like holding up a mirror to the life I’d been living for the last 2.5 years. I was not prepared for that. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for that. I really had no idea how common this was or what it looked or felt like for others. Isn’t that always the way, though? We think we’re so weird or wrong that we can’t imagine our experience being common/normal.Basically, when I moved in…

Perceiving the Beauty of All Bodies

I just got back from giving four days of talks at Smith, Amherst, Mount Holyoke, and UMass Amherst. The students, faculty, staff, and community members I had the honor to meet were absolutely amazing and I had a blast. (I also got to see and walk through snow – it’s possible I was the only one who was happy about that part!)During one of my talks – The World is Messed Up, You Are Fine – I talked about beauty. In particular I talked about the ways that the diet and beauty industries leverage the idea of beauty for profit, in the process disempowering well, just about everyone.I also talked about the idea that, rather than the suggestion that “beauty” is limited to certain people, the truth is that perceiving beauty is a skill set – which is to say that everyone has inherent beauty, and the ability to see that beauty is a skill that can be learned and expanded. Some people have never bothered to expand their skill-set beyond the stereotypes that we get spoon-fed. Stereotypes that are to…

Update: Good News!

I got a new job! I started two weeks ago and I love it! I’m the office manager for a tech startup in the heart of silicon valley. In the short time I’ve been there I’ve received such great feedback from everyone and have already started to sass ’em, too! It’s challenging and different every day. I’m hosting a happy hour to hopefully get people mixing and mingling more, we have a lot of new people, not just myself. I’ll be making a pitcher of a spruced up gimlet (gin, lime, simple syrup – maybe soda?) with pineapple juice and fresh sage. Pretty stoked about it, too!I’m truly excited to have a role where all of my skills will be utilized and recognized. Any support role is often thankless, but when it’s for good people (I hope, too soon to tell, right? Ha-ha!), it doesn’t feel that way. Sure, I’m in the honeymoon phase and have been burned by how many startups now?! Ha! I’m trying to look on the bright side, it takes effort, but seems worth it.It is such a relief to be working again. On…

Fat As Fuck! (Podcast)

Hello!!!I have something wonderful to share with you.My BFF, Michaela and I have just launched a new podcast called, “Fat As Fuck” and I’m so excited to share it with you! We just released our first episode, so we get into the who and why and what our podcast is really about.Here’s a teaser for episode one:Fat As Fuck Episode 1 TEASERI hope you check it out, follow via your preferred social media and podcast apps, and let us know what you think and what topics you’d like us to explore. We’ve been friends for ages and if you’re reading this it’s semi-likely you’ve already heard her voice on my first podcast for this blog years ago. We laugh a lot and hope you’ll be laughing along with us.Rad Fatty Love to ALL,<3
SP.S. Check out and use the hashtag: #FatAndFree on Insta & FB!
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Lies About Health At Every Size

I see a LOT of misinformation being spread about Health at Every Size, sometimes by well-meaning but misinformed people, sometimes by those intentionally trying to discredit the concept. So today I thought I would repost this to help clear up some of what I think are common misconceptions:1. Health at Every Size says that if you love your body you will be healthyFirst of all, “healthy” is complicated to define. More to the point health – by any definition – isn’t an obligation, barometer of worthiness, entirely within our control, or guaranteed under any circumstance. To me, HAES on a personal level is about putting the focus on habits and behavior that support our personal health concept (rather that putting the focus on trying to manipulate our bodies to a specific height/weight ratio.)It’s also about acknowledging that we don’t have as much control over our health as we might like to think we do, and creating environments that are conducive to health, and I don’t mean fat-shaming a…

Cinderella VBACs and Gestational Age

Image: Disney
"At my last doctors appointment I went in and asked my doctor if I could continue with the pregnancy past 40 weeks if I were still pregnant. He said No because the risk of uterine rupture goes up past 40 weeks."source"Gestational age greater than 40 weeks alone should not preclude Trial of Labor After Cesarean."ACOGMany women planning a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) are told by their providers that they will be supported for a VBAC, but their doctors often conveniently forget to mention ahead of time that they enforce arbitrary rules that require women to go into labor by 40 weeks or be forced into a cesarean, like the woman quoted above. Some even insist on a repeat cesarean by 39 weeks.

This is what author Henci Goer calls a "Cinderella VBAC." The doctor claims to support VBACs, but puts so many limits on VBAC labors that almost no one gets one. Examples: the mother must go into labor before 40 weeks, the baby has to be below a certain…

Immigrants and Bikes

I’ve seen the argument that DACA recipients are like “kids whose parents stole a bike and think they should get to keep it.” I think that’s a flawed analogy for many reasons.But, let’s say that your parents acquired a bike in violation of some criminal or civil law. This includes kids whose parents stole the neighbor kid’s bike at gunpoint, parents who bought the bike not knowing that it was stolen, and parents who received the bike in compensation for work, were therefore supposed to pay taxes on it, and didn’t (some deliberately, some who honestly forgot or didn’t realize). The whole range of major to minor offenses, both criminal and civil, both deliberate and inadvertent.Whatever your parents did, you had no control over it. You may have known that something was shady about your bike, or you may have been blissfully unaware. You just got a bike. With that bike, you got a paper route when you were 10 or 12. From that paper route, you built up some savings. Later, at 16, you used th…